if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I want you more than these girls want KFC
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
