You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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