How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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