is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I booty called her while she was in labor.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
