ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
