Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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