I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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