exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
as a side note pls kill me
Randomize
