"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
