I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
i wish my penis had a tongue
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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