I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
