I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
