Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
