So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
