Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
