If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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