he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
