...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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