I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
