he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize