YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Randomize
