Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I just found puke in my bra..
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
