I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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