i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
