Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Randomize
