I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
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