Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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