I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
