dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
