And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
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