I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
