Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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