It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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