I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
