im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
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