Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
