so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
