we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
It was like getting head from an anaconda
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
