i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
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