he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
