I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
