i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize