this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
