In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize