New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
