What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize