cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
