Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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