Capitaan dildo arrescate!
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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