So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
