So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
