If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
We have started to decorate penises.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
