that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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