can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
