he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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