He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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