Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Randomize
