i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
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